Reflection
by AnHeiressofaSOLDIER
Summary: A conversation I think Noctis and Luna could have very easily had during the twelve years.


**Reflection**

Luna had just come home from healing some people, when she noticed that she had a text from Noctis.

The two of them didn't communicate this way often, and usually only did so in emergencies—so that Luna wouldn't have to risk her pay cell phone getting stolen from Ravus or Nifleheim.

So, to say that she was curious by this would've been an understatement.

The Oracle opened the message, as she took an exhausted seat down on the couch, and prayed to the gods that she would be able to help him with whatever he was going through right now.

'Luna…' the message read, "do you think there's something wrong with me? …Sorry to send you this weird thing out of nowhere. I don't even know if I should be discussing this with you, or anyone for that matter, but-'

Luna right away began typing back to Noctis, as her eyes zeroed in on the words—and she cursed herself for not having come home sooner, to help her dearest friend in the world out of his downward spiral.

So focused on her mission was she now, that Luna didn't even notice that her hair was escaping from its ponytail with her movements.

'What, Noctis? No. Whatever you're thinking now, I hardly believe there's anything wrong with you. And know that you can tell me anything… not that I'm pressuring you to share things, if you do not want to.'

As Luna waited with bated breath for Noct to reply, she quickly munched on some cheese puffs—how she was starving!—and tried to figure out what she might say next.

Finally, her phone buzzed.

'Thank you so much, Luna. You're too kind, and I'm honestly not sure I deserve it right now… Anyway, to cut to the chase: I'm eighteen-years-old and I have no sexual desire for anyone at all. I'm a failure as a prince, as I know one of my greatest duties is to one day secure an heir, and-'

As it happened, Luna could not read anymore. And how she hated herself for her weakness.

But hadn't her beloved just pretty much confirmed to her that he didn't return her feelings? The feelings that she had for him that he didn't even know about?

She was truly a foolish and selfish girl, in thinking that she should have anything from this boy she was fated to let die, wasn't she?

And yet… Luna had hoped that maybe she'd be allowed to have one good thing in her life through him.

Honestly, Lunafreya didn't care if Noctis were to ever touch her or not… If she knew that he loved her, she could've lived without that sort of thing and never have missed it once. But she just very much needed him to care about her in some way.

Noctis must have realized that her silence was out of character, Luna concluded, for the next text she got from him had a lot of question marks and exclamation points after her name.

Clearly he was worried about her.

'Luna?!'

The Oracle smiled, despite herself. Even as her heart was breaking over him, Luna couldn't bring herself to hate this prince.

She wondered if that was how he'd one day feel when he learned about his father and her own intentions for him…

And it was with that sobering thought, that Luna decided to tough it out and put her prince first.

So she sat up from where she'd been slouching, slapped her cheeks, and forced herself not to focus on the throbbing in her chest.

'I apologize for my late reply, Noctis. I was communing with the god on your behalf. You are not a failure as a prince. Should the time come, and you're still feeling this way, why don't you simply adopt? That would be a truly admirable thing to do,'

How Luna wished that Noctis would get to know the unconditional love of a child before he passed. He at least deserved that… and much else.

And Luna wondered if what Noctis would say would echo that sentiment:

He must have wanted children, in some manner, so that he could try and be a more attentive father than what he thought his own had been to him.

But what Luna read next wasn't on that topic at all, and her heart nearly stopped at the light of the night sky's perception.

'You're lying, Luna. Your texts are usually so perfect… but you just typed that we have a singular god instead of multiple ones. That's not a mistake you would ever make, so tell me what's going on with YOU now. You can tell me anything;)'

Luna resisted the urge to write back, 'Noctis-sama' at that—to try and show Noctis that she now felt as surprised as she had been when he had promised her he wouldn't let her down.

Leaning against the blue cushion—and looking up to the ceiling, as she let her feet dangle on the ground—Luna tried to decide what to do.

Should she tell him of her love? Even while knowing that it could ruin what they had, and that it was so completely messed up in the end?

It was the last sentence of Noctis' that ended up pushing Luna over the edge into doing that:

The crown prince was asking her to tell him what was on her mind, and not to hold anything back—as he realized that she had just done the same for him—and for once in her life, Luna wanted to think about her own wishes and desires, even if it was just for a day.

Surely she should be allowed that at least once, since destiny had been so cruel to her.

And so Luna began typing a very large letter via phone.

Part way through it, she even felt as though she was writing a novel.

But she just allowed herself to feel, and to hold onto faith that no matter what happened after this… she would be able to work it out with Noctis in the end.

'Dear Noctis… I don't even know how to begin telling you this. There are probably a million better ways to, and I don't even know if I should allow myself to be so selfish. But the truth is that… I love you. I have for years.

'And it's fine if you don't feel the same way. I do not expect you to. Just know that your voice has been one that has helped me weather the storms of my everyday life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Thank you, Noctis. For everything.'

Luna thought that she probably would have told Noct even more than that, if at that exact moment she hadn't noticed that he had stopped keying in whatever he'd been about to type back, and instead began calling her on the phone.

Luna was so terrified by this prospect, that she ended up crushing a stray cheese ball beneath her fingertips and staining the sofa that way, but she could barely pay attention to that at all.

Instead, numbly swiped to the left on her phone and accepted the call, as she waited desperately to finally hear his voice speaking to her again.

And if Ravus or Nifleheim dared to take her mobile device from her now, Luna knew that she would have use her light magic on them without even feeling the slightest bit regretful about it.

"Hello?" Luna ventured.

But Noctis was unintentionally cutting her off before she'd barely spoken, with the edged tenor voice she had heard from him on the news a few times. "You do know that I never said that I was asexual, right?"

And what he meant by that was exactly there in Noctis' tone.

Luna realized that she even would have guessed it much earlier herself, if she hadn't been so dang self-conscious.

Because wasn't she the exact came way?

And hadn't she only ever ended up feeling this kind of thing about her pen-pal of ten years?

"That's more than fine, Noctis. I think you'll find that some of the best people are demisexual."

"Heh. I thought so. How could they not be, if you're one of them?"

And Luna leaned her face as hard into her phone as she could manage it, and started dreamily pondering her and Noctis' future together.

Unbeknownst to her, Noctis was doing the same many miles away.


End file.
